Hello everyone.

 I'm Kelly a wife to a sex addict. He's been addicted all of his life and in 2006 I discovered it all.  The lies the deception and most of all the betrayal. I never knew how much pain one person could inflict on somebody their supposed to love. We were stationed in UT at the time and I did the normal thing. Kicked him out, seeked counseling, got a divorce lawyer, filed for seperation etc 7 mos went by. He was in counseling and actively attending SA meetings in Salt Lake. Everything for the first time felt open and I felt we were finally becoming the husband and wife we was supposed to be. We were then stationed to TX and he stopped attending meetings, but the communication was still there. Flash forward to now. . . Augusta. Last night I discovered by looking at his cell phone bill that there was a number being called frequently, so I got online. Sure enough the number had been called almost every day since February 14. I then went on a hacking attack. Getting into google, and searching through the computers cookies for the littlest detail I could find. At 3am last night I ran across my husbands online account at adultfriendfinder that site leaves me breathless..wanting to vomit and scream to the top of my lungs. The posts the vulagarity of it all the fact they act as if nothing in the world their doing is wrong blind sides me. I read all the posts and cried. Threw up and felt sick that same old flood of emotions of HATE for this disease my husband has. I can't do this anymore my family doesn't understand the want to love somebody who doesn't know how to love anyone else but himself. I have no one to talk too and I truly need support. I need for somebody to help me FIND me again and allow me to know that I AM somebody again. I'm a mother and I love my children more than anything, as a mother should. I love my husband with all of my heart and I vowed in front of number of people that I would stand by him through anything. I don't think I can physically do it anymore. I have a lot of medical problems. In July of last year I had surgery to remove breast cancer and at age 25 that was a shock. I've since then had 3 other major surgeries and last week I had another LONELY stay in the hospital. I'm due to have another major surgery in the near future and you all I have to admit.. my body wants to just give up. I don't feel I have the will anymore to fight ...somebody give me strength. 

 Kelly